so today jen and i went to barnes and nobles. at first it was all about mangas and coffee and trying to decide if "Juvenile Orion" was worth reading, but after i got all my books i sat down and we were waiting for jen's mom to come get us. jen saw that i was bored, and in a completely joking way, she got up and grabbed a national geographics book of photography and placed it in my lap. i laughed because i had told her that one day i might write for them so that i could see the world, but i don't think i have the grades or talent to do it. but then i started looking through the book, and the photos were.... amazing. i mean, to you it may look like a family that can't afford transportaion and wears funny clothes, but to me it was a breath taking look into the lives of a different culture. the other day i was thinking about all the different kids that go to our school, all the different steretypical people, all the clicks or whatever, and i tried to imagine their lives. i came to the conclusion that we are all not that different. i mean, a few stand out in the crowd, and there are certainly different extremities to the situation. for example, the goat twins typical friday night is getting home from school, feeding their goats and other farm animals on their tiny property, listening to their horrible mother bitch about everything and then go into their dirty house, eat dinner and get ready to go to the football game, come home and watch "Reba" on the WB. then there's analisa, the girl who sits behind me in driver's ed. it's friday after school. maybe she's go to the mall with her freinds or to some party, driving around using her cell phone and spending money. then it's game time, put on your cheerleading outfit and go ra-ra your ass off for a team that loses most of the time, trying to give the school-spiritless kids a good show. our lives may seem so different, but looking through that book, seeing the old man with red and blue tribal paint on his face, smoking a filterless ciggarette made of tobacco and newspaper, i thought about how his life must be. working all day in a feild to earn enough food to keep him alive. then the next page was a young russian girl, probably my age. our lives must be so different... i can't even imagine how she lives, but i'm sure as hell she doesn't come home from school everyday, get online and read or watch tv. and there were pictures from the 1950's with girld who were surfing and swimming and it really just makes you think about how things used to be. there was an amish boy working out in the feild of grain, taking a break and eatinf honey on toasted bread. there was a family that was living in a forest. their home consisted of a fire and some sticks with leaves over them, curved into a hut smaller than my closet.
makes you think about how lucky you are... and how everything in my life i thought was important is so trivial. i'm just a speck on earth, an entire cosmos or diversity. would i be happy if i had the lives of any of those people? are they happy, or do they just not know what happiness is? i mean, what is there to be happy about when you live under leaves? the pile of magas beside me, my bruises left from last night's game, the pizza my mom just ordered for me because she's staying at steve's again tonight..... not of them really matter. not in the big scheme of things. and i'm really glad that there are other countries like this. not the whole poverty thing, but that's there is still so much culture in the world, it's not all dulled out and rubbed away by big cars and business suits like it is in america. makes me want to write for national geographics even more.
needless to say, i really did enjoy the photos in the national geographics book. it really gave me just a glimsp of other people's lives. the pictures were so beautiful... made me appreciate what i have more. there is beauty all around us, even when it's hard to find, muddled with all the filth. my vision may not be 20/20, hell i can't even read this print if i'm more than 7 feet away from it, but i can see beauty in the world.
my head hurts. i'm not sure if it's because i have too many thought blazing through my mind at one time, or if it's because i have been sitting under bright fluorescent for the last 4 hours. either way, bless you if you've managed to read all this, and bless you even more if you understood it.
i've got to go now. pizza will be here in a few minutes and mom says i ahve to fold clothes.