kungfuchipmunck (kungfuchipmunck) wrote,
kungfuchipmunck
kungfuchipmunck

convos with jen.

no, i don't expect you to read all this. this was just a great convo we had, and i feel i must save it so i can remember it always.

boxbum=jen
ff=me

2 things you would have to know to GET THIS: 1, naruto is our favourite anime. i was loaned some naruto dvds by a friend, i finished them and gave them to jen 2 weeks ago, she has yet to watch them. stupid bitch. 2, jen is getting surgery because her eggcells are crazy, and one of them got into her body and became a cyst [cleverly named 'eggbert'] so any reference to her being crippled or her overies comes directly from that.

any other comment i see fit, shall be herebyandsoforth written in green

 

boxcarbum91: did you ever finish the last naruto dvd?
freezerfrogs: no.
freezerfrogs: have you even started watching them?
freezerfrogs: HM MISSY?1
boxcarbum91: nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnih!
freezerfrogs: that's right
freezerfrogs: don't tell my to watch the last disc until YOU finisht he first 5!
boxcarbum91: i'm a cripple, REMEMBER?!
boxcarbum91: bah!
freezerfrogs: well you haven't been a cripple for two weeks now!
boxcarbum91: i will be tomorrow
freezerfrogs: so
freezerfrogs: that doesn't excuse you for the last two weeks
freezerfrogs: i had half of them watched in two weeks
boxcarbum91: yes it might
boxcarbum91: :-(
freezerfrogs: no jen
freezerfrogs: no it doesn't.
freezerfrogs: WATCH THEM OR I WILL TAKE THEM BACK.
boxcarbum91: psh... fine then...
boxcarbum91: ::makes mental note to lock all doors::
freezerfrogs: ::knows her mom will let me in::
boxcarbum91: ::kills mom and replaces her with an obediant robot-mom that will not let julie in::
freezerfrogs: ::god's favourite little catholic [<- referencing jen's mom] comes back in the form of an angel and rips the tongue piercing out that robomom let jen get. then takes the naruto and gives it back to it's rightfull owner as punishment::
boxcarbum91: ::jen calls the anti-christ who understands the swollen-tongue dialect and sends evil healing medacine through her voice and so jen can now shoot flaming balls of saliva at julie and retrieve the dvds safely::
freezerfrogs: ::...julie didn't do anything. it was all god's fault. and leave teresa out of this!::
boxcarbum91: :-P\
freezerfrogs: ::julie doesn't believe in the anti-christ, so she is unaffected by the 'firespit' and breaks into jen's house via window, and gets dvd's back, then burns them to ashes::
boxcarbum91: ::jens faithful dog bites julie's leg off before she can get away and then jen burns her with a cigarette burn (she lit the ciggie with her tongue fireballs) and then jen reminds julie that even if she refuses to believe in something doesn't mean that it doesn't exisit. then jen flicks her ciggie and then rides off into the sunset on chilli with the naruto dvds::
boxcarbum91: (brb)
freezerfrogs: jen, your dog fucking loves me.
freezerfrogs: she wouldn't bite me if i lit you on fire
boxcarbum91: yes she would
boxcarbum91: she bit my dad when he was trying to wake me up once. shes very protective of me ^.^
boxcarbum91: la?
freezerfrogs: ::julie tells jen's dad she was smoking and that jen stole something from her [dvds]. jen's dad and julie catch up to jen riding off into the sunset.  three days have passed since jen and chilli rode off, jen has now realized that she's an idiot for riding off into the sunset, as she now only has her dog for warmth and a ciggie butt for food. julie and jen's dad find jen and her dog huddled in an alley behind some trash cans, then jen's father sees the cig butt, and takes off his belt ["ew, dad! put it back on! you're pants are going to fall off!"] then smacks jen until she is bleeding and beaten and is an inch from dying. then julie comes, takes the dvds, and gives jen a good hard kick in the overies, then all of jen's demented little egg cells go throughout jen's body, seeing she is in a weakened state, then turn into eggbert jrs. julie decides to be a good friend and put jen out of her misery by allowing chilli to eat her. except chilli died because her master died, so i just kick jen a few more times until jen dies. the end- i win.::
boxcarbum91: ::jen doesn't mind being dead but she really liked her dog so she decides that julie must suffer her wrath. jen jumps on a demon trampoline in hell and get propelled into chillis body where she then attacks julie, steals back the dvds, smoke some, pee on julies foot, and then watch the dvds and then destroys them as a last act of sadisticism and then drags julie along with her to hell where we have tea and pie::
boxcarbum91: y'know.. this is a very good example of plot manipulation
freezerfrogs: i know!
freezerfrogs: ::julie decides that hell's tea isn't very good ["i KNEW hell was ruled by those green tea hippies!"] so she finds satan [who looks strikingly like brad pitt] and has her WAY WITH HIM. now that julie is on the devil's good side, he lets her borrow the magic time machine, so julie goes back in time and kills the chilli/jen reincarnation before it can bite her. then julie burns the dvds and eats the ashes::
boxcarbum91: ::jen doesn't care because in hell she can watch all the episodes of naruto in english or japanese, even the episodes that haven't been released yet while julie remains on earth begging wess and devin to accept her cheap free head for naruto::
freezerfrogs: ...i do NOT give cheap free head!
freezerfrogs: it's bad free head!
boxcarbum91: w.e
freezerfrogs: ::julie has a chat with satan and reminds him that in hell, people should be tortured, not rewarded with naruto, so satan erases jen's memory of the naruto episodes, then gives him crappy anime.... POKEMON... to watch for the rest of time!!!::
boxcarbum91: ::jen pokes satan in the ribs and accuses him of being manipulated by a pitiful human. he then feels ashamed and enraged and erupts a volcano over julie's head. she now floats in space because satan destroyed heaven and all good people are crystalized in space::
freezerfrogs: ::julie is nearly run over by the BeBop, but is quickly welcomed aboard by spike, jet, and faye. upon telling them her tragic story, they say they personally know naruto and his friends, and promise to take julie there if she will spend one night with spike [for non-cowboy bebop fans, spike is very attractive].... julie *reluctantly* agrees, but being the good friend she is, she wants to know if she can bring jen, because she knows how much jen would like to come. they agree, but only if jen spends a night with jet [jet is not very attractive]. julie says that jen will. then julie realizes that when jen poked satan in the ribs and suggested stupid things, satan left only the GOOD people floating around in space. julie then realizes that jen brought her own downfal upon herself, and no longer exists. so julie and the crew all share a good laugh, then fly off to the parallel naruto universe::
boxcarbum91: thats lovely
freezerfrogs: i so win
boxcarbum91: i'd love to continue debating with you but i haven't gotten enough sleep, as you could tell by my eyes today. this conversation is not nearly over yet. i never lose an extended debate. you won the preliminary, but i will crush you!!!!!
boxcarbum91: right after my nap
boxcarbum91: g'nite
freezerfrogs: night
boxcarbum91 is away at 5:57:16 PM.

 

when it comes to arguing with jess or jen,

 

i always win.

 

jenny, i love you. good luck with surgery tomorrow, i'll be at the hospital after school.

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